You open your eyes, and it occurs to you that it isn't the world that's spinning, but rather you. Well, that's how I feel, anyway. I feel like all of a sudden time has been thrust upon me and I don't know how to control it. On the other hand, I don't know if I want to. Maybe because I've been spinning about for so long, it only feels natural to live in a whirlpool of sorts. I sometimes wonder if I'm just biding my time; waiting until this chaos is acceptable. I like it.
Isn't that great? I realized that I spend so much time being what I believe other people want, WHO they want, that I often forget what I like, or what I want for MYSELF. If I'm in really deep, like lately, I forget who I even am. I guess that isn't so important, though. I'm going to change either way, and no one is forcing me to play a part. I don't think I could handle life without this process. So boring. So unremarkable.
I want to make it all happen, everything that I want, or THINK I want, or even want to want.
Because I can. And lately, that's reason enough.
Isn't that great =)
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